


The Outer World One Shots

by Cri_du_Chat



Category: The Outer Worlds (Video Game)
Genre: Cunnilingus, Each chapter has explicit warnings in the summary, F/M, One-Shot, Oral Sex, PIV, Sex, Sexual Tension, Smut, Teasing, sassy Molassy thicc'r Vicar, warnings and tags to change as new chapters are added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-17 23:08:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21751234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cri_du_Chat/pseuds/Cri_du_Chat
Summary: Collection of all my Outer World related one shots. Most likely will be smut. If you like what I write, considerfollowing me on Tumblr!I take requests.All comments and kudos are welcome! Love hearing what your favorite part is! :)Thank you for reading! <3
Relationships: Maximillian DeSoto/Reader, The Captain/Maximillian DeSoto
Comments: 20
Kudos: 117





	1. You Look Incredible In That (F!Reader/VicarMax)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "For a random dress pulled out of a bin, it fits surprisingly well. It hugs your figure in all the right places, giving you a flattering look. It’s a little short, barely floating above your knees. You can’t suppress your smile, and decide to give yourself a small twirl. Predictably, the skirt flies up whimsically before smoothly drifting back down once you stop.
> 
> You let out a laugh, a genuinely carefree laugh that’s eluded you for ages. For a moment, you’re not thinking about the weight of Halcyon on your shoulders; No, you reminisce about the less stressful life you once had.
> 
> You look up from your dress, your face rosy and beaming, to find you’re not as alone you as thought."
> 
> \----------------
> 
> Pairing: f!Reader/VicarMax  
> Rating: Explicit (sexual content)
> 
> \----------------

You’ve been scavenging through an abandoned property on Monarch, snatching up your usual targets: ammo, food, the occasional weapon. This time however, you chance upon a large, locked bin in the corner of a bedroom.

Several mag-picks later and the lock is open. You hastily undo the lid to discover what treasures lay hidden inside. A rare weapon? A large stockpile of ammo? Perhaps a generous amount of Bits?

 _A dress?_ Crestfallen, you curse wasting a load of mag-picks over a dress that’ll get you a handful of Bits at best. You throw it on the bed and turn to explore the rest of the house, but you hesitate and give the dress a second glance.

Come to think of it, this is the first dress you’ve seen since awaking. Unlike Earth, dresses apparently have fallen out of fashion. You guess due to their impracticality. Not even the wealthy of Byzantium wore them. It’s essentially a relic of Earth.

Nostalgia overtakes you, and the impulse to try it on is too alluring. You walk over and run your fingers gently across the fabric. _So pretty,_ you muse to yourself. It’s nothing akin to the armor or attire you’d find traveling around the colony.

It’s a-line, sweetheart neckline dress with a pleated skirt. It’s plain, but elegant. Unusually, it’s clean and seemingly untouched by time. Whoever owned this dress, it surely been a treasure to them.

You promptly disrobe and throw the dress on over your head. You struggle getting the back zipper to cooperate, but eventually wrangling it all the way up and clasp it. You run your hands down the front of the skirt and downwards, flattening it out and getting a first look.

For a random dress pulled out of a bin, it fits surprisingly well. It hugs your figure in all the right places, giving you a flattering look. It’s a little short, barely floating above your knees. You can’t suppress your smile, and decide to give yourself a small twirl. Predictably, the skirt flies up whimsically before smoothly drifting back down once you stop.

You let out a laugh, a genuinely carefree laugh that’s eluded you for ages. For a moment, you’re not thinking about the weight of Halcyon on your shoulders; No, you reminisce about the less stressful life you once had.

You look up from your dress, your face rosy and beaming, to find you’re not as alone you as thought.

\-----------------------------

Max was taking a break outside the small, deserted settlement to rest his aching joints. He’ll never admit it, but keeping up with you and the rest of the crew often leaves him exhausted. After wiping out all the marauders, he encourages you to go on ahead while he took a breather outside.

But you’re taking longer than expected. Focused and to the point, you’d sweep areas for goods and Bits and didn’t tend to doddle. When several minutes went by and you didn’t return, he naturally got worried.

Ignoring the pain barking in his knees, Max stands up and makes his way through the doorway. At first glance you’re nowhere to be seen, yet he hears the sound of footsteps treading lightly from a room out of sight. He peeks his head around the corner, anticipating to find you fussing over a particularly difficult lock or sorting all the junk you insist on carrying with you. Instead, he freezes.

 _What in the Grand Architect is she wearing?_ Because _oh law_ , does it send his heart into a flutter. His eyes trace your figure, from your chest down to your hips. Generally you’re concealed behind heavy armor, but now you’re exposed and vulnerable in a way he’s never seen before. He takes notice of your skin, and imagines how soft you’d be under his caressing hands.

 _Law damn you._ You’re surely going to be the death of him.

Then you take it a step further by twirling around, allowing him to get a glimpse to drink you all in. The skirts graceful hovering gives way your toned legs, no doubt from all the traveling you’ve done. You even bless him with a flash of your back end, which is barely covered by a pair of cheeky underwear.

 _And that laugh._ It’s light and airy, nothing he’s heard come from you before.

Max could feel his cheeks burning and a new tightness in his groin. He realizes he’s becoming unraveled, and worst yet he’s witnessing this all without your consent. 

The rational part of his mind screams at him to leave. While trying to take a step back, you stop spinning. Your eyes fell directly on him. 

Your smile quickly fades and is replaced with pure dismay, your cheeks changing from a pink hue to full blown scarlet.

“M-Max I-I didn’t know you w-were…” You stutter, failing to think of an explanation to hide your embarrassment. You wrap your arms around you, in an attempt to shield your bare skin from Max’s intense gaze.

“You look incredible.” Max breathes out, his eyes heavy and enraptured. 

“W-what?” You ask sheepishly, your voice almost inaudible.

“You look incredible...in that.” He repeats, his eyes lingering down your dress again and back up to your eyes. “I’ve never seen anything like it before.” 

\-----------------------------

“It’s a dress, it was in that locked bin and I...umm...” You taper off as Max take several steps towards you. You’re a rabbit caught in headlights while under his piercing gaze. You don’t dare move, anxious of what he might do next.

You can’t deny that your feelings towards Max had been escalating. When you first met, you found him abrasive. Cocky, egotistical, and his “spiritual counseling” often came across cold and judgemental. Despite that, he accompanied you all across Halcyon, slowly and surely becoming your confidante. While you didn’t agree from a religious standpoint, Max is thoughtful and intelligent. He gives you different perspectives that you’ve never considered. He’s proven time and time again that he stand by you, despite occasional doubts.

You kept all these feelings to yourself however, not wanting to become distracted or burdened with yet another responsibility.

But you’ve picked up a nightly routine of fantasizing a private confession with the vicar in your captain’s quarters. You’d fondle yourself and wish it was his hands on you instead of your own. How he’d effortlessly move you into any position he’d desire, all the while the low rumble of his voice showered you with praise.

And the way he’s looking at you now? His voice dripping with hunger how you always dreamed it would. You’ve grown acutely aware of the wetness pooling between your legs, nervous that the thin fabric of your panties can’t prevent it from flowing down your legs and revealing your arousal.

Your minds buzzing. You didn’t snap out of it until you feel the warmth of his hand gently grab yours, his fingers peeling away your grip from your upper arm, all to hold it in his. His thumb tenderly stroking the back of your hand, his eyes never leaving yours.

\-----------------------------

“Captain...” For once, Max’s at a loss for words. His list of things he wants to tell you are extensive. He cherishes your company and admires your determination and perseverance, despite all the obstacles you’ve faced. He wholeheartedly believes that saving Halcyon is your place in the Plan, whether you accept it or not. It’s an honor to work with you, let alone become such close friends.

But it wasn’t long before he began craving more. Once you’d became closer, your disposition towards him warmed. You’d confided and sought guidance from him, your hands lingered longer on passing touches, you once embraced him after a particular close fight with a Mantiqueen. You keep him at close ranks even when the rest of crew loathed and irritated him; He couldn’t remember the last time someone cared for him sincerely.

That’s when he started having more impure thoughts than usual. He catches himself ogling you any time you bend over to pick something up, an action he usually chastised Felix for. He daydreams about how your lips would feel against his while you bark orders. While laying in bed at night trying to chase his lust away, he yearns to feel the warmth of your body against his.

He was cautious and diligent in keeping his feelings in check. He’s a man of the cloth after all; he tasks himself with protecting you, not fornicating with a women almost half his age. A relationship would not only be unconventional, but inappropriate.

Nevertheless, no matter how many times he tries to convince himself, his thirst for you is never quenched. Unable to restrain himself any longer, Max takes your hand and nuzzles his face into your palm.

“You’re even softer than I imagined…” He sighs and closes his eyes, unable to recall when he’s last felt the tender touch of another. He’s celibacy left him touch starved, and he presumes your long hypersleep landed you in the same boat. He’d selfishly fetishized being the one to save you from your loneliness, and he’s resolute in making it become a reality here and now.

“I wonder if your lips feel the same.” Max’s eyes open half lidded, his lust becoming insatiable and his actions more bold. He leans forward until his forehead rests against yours, hovering so close that he can feel your warm breathe brush past his lips. 

He’s putting all his cards on the table, but leaving you an opportunity to fold and walk away from all of this. 

\-----------------------------

You don’t leave Max worrying long.

In a blur your lips are on his. Your arms reach around him, burying one hand into his graying hair and the other gripping his shoulder. A primal growl breaches from deep within Max, his arms eagerly securing your body against him in earnest. His hand roams down your back until he finds your ass. He slips it under your skirt and panties, possessively digging his fingers in your velvet, ample flesh. You gasp against his lips, allowing him the freedom to slip his tongue into your mouth. 

You taste hints of wine and mock apple pie, a meal you came to recognize as his favorite. His tongue easily dominates yours, you close your eyes and relish in the overwhelming sensation. _This must be a fever dream_ . Any moment now you’re going to wake up and have to come to terms with this never happening. But you concede no dream ever felt _this good._ Even if it is, you aren’t about to let it go to waste.

You break the kiss, and Max groans agitatedly. You release your grasp and pull him by the sleeves of his vestment towards the direction of the bed. He complies obediently while his hands stay fixed to your hips, too enamored to protest. You pause once the back of your legs hit the cool steel of the bed frame. Your hand rejoins his cheek, which he catches and showers with feathery kisses. 

“I think…” You start, stretching up on your tiptoes to get closer to his ear. “I’m in need of your services, Vicar DeSoto.” You feel him shudder, his hold on your hips becoming unbearably tight. 

Abruptly, your feet are no longer touching the ground. Max picks you up, tossing you on your back on the bed behind you. Before you can make heads or tails of what’s happening, you feel his weight on top of you as he straddles you. 

“It’s my duty—and _pleasure,_ Captain.” He rasps into your ear, sending chills down your spine and tightness in your core. He tilts back up, his eyes drifting down your legs. An expression of confusion, following one of realization flashes across his face. Max is swift to replace it with a devilish smirk, sending goosebumps across your skin.

“I see you’ve made a mess of yourself.” He playfully scolds you, tsking as his hands slowly ascends up your thigh. “And in your new dress too? That’s a shame.” What you’d been fretting about early has come true. The result of your arousal dribbled down your leg. You’re beyond shame at this point. Your skin feels like it’s burning, the tightness between your legs is too much to bare. You ached for him, and you need him to deliver your salvation.

“Please Max.” You whine pitifully, unable to expend the energy to play coy.

“That’s no way to address a man of the cloth, Ms. Hawthorne” He states sternly, his thumb running circles along your inner thigh. _He’s so close. Just a little higher._

“Vicar DeSoto, _please!”_

“Please what?” He’s enjoying this too much, given the mischievous glint in his eyes. You’re growing restless, so you attempt to thrust your hips against his. He anticipates that though, because he effortlessly holds you down with the hand that’s tracing shapes on your thigh.

“Where are your manners, Ms. Hawthorne? Good things come to those who wait after all.” He chuckles darkly. The look on your face must have been a sight. Glowing crimson, sweaty and panting. His teasing has become excruciating. The pressure in your core turning painful, and you’d half a mind to do the job yourself.

“Please just—just fucking touch me already!”

Max’s caught off guard by your cursing. “Such vulgarity. Very unbecoming of a young lady.” Regardless, he rewards you with applying pressure to your sensitive bulb through your panties. You cry out and throw your head back, your fingers clutching the bed sheets.

“Like music to my ears, such a good girl.” He praises. “Looks you’ve soiled your undergarments however.” He threads his thumb under the soaked fabric. You gasp loudly, your legs convulsing at the heightened sensitivity. 

“So _wet_.” Max exhales in awe. He slides his thumb down your slit, eliciting a moan from you. He hums in approval, reveling in your reactions.

He interrupts to grab hold of your underwear, guiding them down your thighs before discarding them on the floor indiscriminately. 

“It’s worse than I thought, Captain. I’m going to have to clean up the mess you made.” Max says while licking his lips, his voice deep and husky. A strangled noise of protest slips out while you prop yourself on your elbows. You want to touch _him,_ and so far you’ve received all the attention.

Max either doesn’t hear or care, because in one fluid moment he lifts your knees over his shoulders. Your head falls back against the mattress, your dress folding down and over, uncovering yourself from the midriff down. His head nests between your thick thighs, using his hands to fix you into place. From this angle you’re not only helplessly at his mercy, but it provides him a perfect view of your face.

You feel his breath fan your opening as his eyes catch yours, making you quiver in anticipation. Max finally shows you mercy, diving between your legs and running his hot, wet tongue along the length of your swollen folds. He takes his time, savoring your flavor and leaving no spot unexplored. He trails back up to your clit, fixating on it with his tongue and sucking it tenderly.

You cry out, hastily covering your open mouth to keep quiet. But Max rips your hand away and restrains it against the mattress, looking down at you disapprovingly.

“I want to hear every noise you make. If you do that again, I’ll stop. Understand?” Glaring down at you, all hints of playfulness vanish from Max’s stern tone. You felt bubbles of shame rise in you, your skin flushing as if gasoline had been thrown on the flame building inside you.

You give a weak nod. He resumes, taking several long, languid licks along your labia for good measure. His eyes fixated on watching you come undone. You erupt with more resounding sounds of pleasure, peppering in his name in between breaths.

“Your nectar tastes so good, Captain. I can’t get enough.” He slips his tongue inside you, removing his hand from pinning your wrist to instead rubbing your delicate clit with his calloused fingers. 

“Max, Max, Max please don’t stop!” You beg, your voice booming within the cramped room. The sounds echoing from you become more unrecognizable and animalistic. Your deliverance is near. Your moans become more rhythmic, your back arches, and your breathing erratic. You turn your head and close your eyes in an attempt to focus so you can climax, but you feel a hand on your chin jerk you back. You open your eyes to see Max looking down at you with rapt attention.

“I want to witness the fruits of my labor, so don’t look away now. I want to see your beautiful face when I push you to ecstasy” _Holy shit,_ _how is this man even a real vicar?_ You can’t hold that thought for too long, because Max starts thumbing your clit faster while he thrashes is tongue deep inside you. 

“Max I’m a-about too~” Closer than you realize, your orgasm comes crashing in before you can finish. You feel your walls clench around Max’s tongue. He moans into you, eagerly lapping up your fresh cum as you ride out the rest of your climax on his face.

You lay still, panting heavily. You feel lightheaded, drunk off of the adrenaline rush coursing through your body. 

“You're amazing, Max.” Weakly chuckling, your heart threatens to beat out of your chest. Satisfied, Max unhooks your legs from his shoulder and moves to straddle you again. He leans over to your ear, while one of his hands starts to unbutton his vestments.

“Don’t get too comfortable. I’m far from being finished with you, Captain.” He whispers, peeling off his top vestments, revealing his toned, bare chest. You immediately stretch out to run your fingers over him, admiring his physique while he watches you adoringly. He takes hold of your hand, and guides it slowly downward. He stops when your hand is over his groin, which he compels you to grab. You feel the bulge of his cock pressing firmly against his pants. It twitches in your palm as you run his length with your thumb, twirling your finger around his sensitive head.

Max bites his lower lip in an attempt to muffle his groan. “Look at what you do to me.” You tighten your grip, forcing him to reveal his grunt he was desperately trying to hide. You didn’t expect him to undone so quickly. Teasing you must have brought him that close to the edge. 

Growing impatient being confined to his trousers, Max clumsy unbuckles and pulls down the rest of his clothes, his cock springing free. He kicks his pants off, leaving him completely nude. You’re drawn to his fully erect member first. It’s girthy and long with faint veins climbing up to the tip, slicked with precum trickling down his shaft before dripping onto the mattress between your leg.

“Is it to your satisfaction, Captain?” Max says with bated breath, observing you tentatively to gauge your reaction. 

“ _Absolutely._ ” You’re transfixed. What’s there not to appreciate? Despite being older, Max is muscular. From his broad shoulders to his solid thighs. You’d no clue he was hiding all this from you under his vestments.

You take your time to roam your fingers along his chest and abdomen, tracing over his healed scars along the way. You wonder what the story behind each one. Perhaps it's when he was in prison, or from his years of playing Tossball. Maybe he acquired them from accompanying you. You assume they’re a result from his times becoming “violently enthusiastic,” as Max fondly puts it.

While you’re distracted, he snakes his arm around to the back of your dress, fumbling with your clasp and zipper.

“I’ve been dreaming of this moment for too long.” He unzips you slowly and kisses your neck. The sound of his lip smacking and sucking against your hot flesh makes you squirm beneath him. “Many nights I wondered why the Architect was testing me— _tempting me_.” Once unzipped, he delicately pulls the dress over your head and sets it on the floor beside him.

Max takes one of his hands and tangles it into your hair, while the other cups one of your breasts. “I can see now I was grossly mistaken. I fought against the Plan—and my lust—when I should have embraced it, embraced _you_.” You whimper his name as his fingers rub and pull your taunt nipple, kissing his way up to your earlobe to nibble it gently.

“Your perfect body, all those beautiful noises you’re making…” Max thrust himself against you, his cock rubbing along your delicate, drenched folds. “I’m so lucky, being the only one who gets to witness you on display.”

His voice is intoxicating and his words potently erotic. He effortlessly brings you back up to a boil, the satisfaction of the previous orgasm long forgotten. You try bucking your hips against his, signaling for him to hurry up. But he angles his hips away precisely out of reach.

Max sits up. “What did I say about being patient? Did you already forget?” He snaps scoldingly, but his tone gives away his desperation to stay in control.

“Max, please...I need you…” That perks Max’s attention. Your transgressions already disregarded, he sinks down, kissing and marking his way down to your neck, shoulders, collar bone, and finally your breasts. He latches his mouth onto your free nipple, alternating between licking, sucking, and gently nipping. He grabs a fist full of your ass, allowing him to raise your hips so he can grind his cock continuously up and down your folds. You breath hitches, followed by a bellow of curses and moans.

“Confess your desires to me, Captain.” He pauses momentarily to inquire, before resuming to ravenously running his tongue across your breast, making it difficult to form any coherent thought. While the thought of confessing your scandalous fantasies to Max makes you uncomfortable, you’re also desperate to move things along. That didn’t mean you couldn’t give him some of his own medicine.

“I-I’ve been so lonely, Vicar DeSoto.” You plead tantalizingly. ”It’s left me with this dreadful _empty_ feeling inside.” Max groans, his hips bucking harder against you in response. “A-and I need you—to be the one to fill it, Max.”

Max ruts against you, this time the tip of his penis penetrates your aching hole. “Oh _law—_ Fuck...continue Captain.” He encourages with shaky breathe as he slowly rocks his hips back in forth, already feeling overwhelmed by your tightness around his cocks head. 

It isn’t enough for you, and you were fed up of Max’s games. You grip his hair tightly, tilting his head so his ear is against your lips. “I need you to use my tight pussy to milk your fat cock, Max.” You lull in a sultry tone, confident that this would bring Max over his tipping point. 

You weren’t wrong. With the last shackle of self restraint shedded, Max slides his cock all the way inside you to the hilt in an instant. You both wail out in unison, his member pulsing against your clenched walls.

He gives you a moment to adjust, using the opportunity to ogle your breast as they bounces with each breath. Once ready, you fold your legs around his waist, pressing your sweat covered bodies firmly together. Max takes the hint as he slowly sets a steady rhythm. Swinging his hips back and forth, his cock slides in and out of your throbbing womanhood.

A symphony of grunts and moans begins between the two of you. Max buries his face in the crook of your neck, mumbling praises into your hot skin between sloppy kisses. You wrap your arms around him and rack your nails up his back. Max replies in turn with a low, baritone growl, reciprocating with a harsh bite on your neck and escalating his pace. 

You scream out, babbling incoherently. The painful bite mixed with the pleasure of Max mounting you is the perfect cocktail for euphoria. You can’t focus on anything other than the feeling of his cock plowing you at such a brutal pace, all the while the sound of his balls slapping against you is as obscene as it is deafening.

You already feel your undoing near, the tension from your core spreading through your extremities. Max on the other hand seems more than content in ruthlessly bottoming out into you repeatedly, with no signs of slowing down. 

“Max I-I can’t—” You try to warn him, but he cuts you off with a rough, sloppy kiss. He breaks apart abruptly to grab ahold of your ass with both hands. His cock still inside of you, he adjusts your hips into a better position to strike deeper inside you. 

You were busy looking down and admiring how sexy it is to see his member fully buried in your pussy, when you hear Max clears his throat. You gawk up at him, his face flushed pink as beads of sweat trickling down his chiseled features. Your adoration for him must be written on your face, because his lips pull into a tired smile followed by a faint chuckle. He nuzzles his nose against yours affectionately, as if you were both taking a break within an eye of a storm. 

When he leans back up, his eyes are back to smoldering with passion. “You ready to be taken to the promised land?” He’s probably expecting you to beg or whine, but instead you hit him with:

“Only if you promise to plant your hot seed inside me, Maximillian DeSoto.” That’s a yes if he ever heard one. With your enthusiastic consent, he bluntly resumes his thrusts at breakneck speed. Your hands grip into Max’s shoulders for purchase as you revel in him riding you. The new position forces his cock to strike your g-spot, and in no time you feel yourself on the brink of climax.

Your walls constrict in preparation, throwing Max off rhythm. Instead of trying to correct it, he switches in favor of fucking you with reckless abandonment. He chants your name repeatedly like a prayer, taking notice that he’s moments from his crescendo. 

Despite your dry and sore throat, you manage to let loose a piercing scream to note your finale. Your pussy clamps around Max’s cock, immediately pushing him over the edge to his own climax. You feel his cock quiver within you, filling you with shooting strings of hot cum.

Exhausted, you lay still as Max gives a few final weak thrusts before carefully pulling out of you. A weak cry escapes your lips at the sudden feeling of emptiness, the sensation of semen trickling out of your trembling hole accompanying close behind.

Max collapses beside you, gingerly pulling you into his embrace. 

“That was—”

“Indescribable” He exhales with shortness of breath, stroking loose strands of hair off your face and tucks them behind your ear. 

“And to think, all this happened because of a dress.” You giggle, your fingers tracing along his chest while you snuggle closer.

“It wasn’t the dress, but the women wearing the dress.” Max winks down at you.

You playfully slap him on his upper arm, “Do you ever take a break from being a smart ass?”

Max laughs, lovingly stroking your back. “I’m afraid not, Captain. I have a reputation to maintain.”

“Oh, so you mean that it’s all part of being a vicar?” You tease.

“I wouldn’t go that far…”

“And what about all this?” Max arching his brow, giving you a puzzled look. “What if this wasn’t actually part of the Grand Plan?”

Max tightens his grip around you reassuringly. “Everything we do is part of the Plan...but even if it wasn’t, this was worth it.”


	2. You Wanna Bet? (F!Reader/VicarMax)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Max wasn’t usually one to pout.
> 
> He’d made the bet with Felix in jest, never expecting either of them to have an opportunity to follow through. This was Felix we were talking about; He couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel, how in Halcyon was he going to get a kiss from you?
> 
> Yet there Felix was, strolling into Max’s domicile with the biggest shit-eating grin on his face. Of course Max’s first reaction was disbelief; He was confident that Felix was lying. He must be, right? 
> 
> Your standards couldn’t be _that_ low, could they?"
> 
> \----------------
> 
> Pairing: f!Reader/VicarMax  
> Rating: Mature (sexual tension, teasing)
> 
> \----------------

Max wasn’t usually one to pout.

He’d made the bet with Felix in jest, never expecting either of them to have an opportunity to follow through. This was Felix we were talking about; He couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel, how in Halcyon was he going to get a kiss from you?

Yet there Felix was, strolling into Max’s domicile with the biggest shit-eating grin on his face. Of course Max’s first reaction was disbelief; He was confident that Felix was lying. He must be, right? 

Your standards couldn’t be _that_ low, could they?

But as Felix recounted his epic tale of triumph with great enthusiasm, it became readily apparent he was indeed being truthful. His idiocy prevented him from being a skilled liar; His dramatic retelling of kissing you under the moonlight on Monarch (which Monarch had zero of) though highly embellished, had actually transpired.

Disbelief instantaneously turned to anger. 

In the face of defeat, Max had always been a sore loser. He promptly dismissed Felix’s achievement a fluke won over false pretenses.

“You told her about the bet, didn’t you? That’s the only reason she kissed you.” Max spat accusingly, straining to return to reading his scripture in a gambit to appear indifferent about the whole thing.

“Just admit it, Max. You’re _jeeeealous_.” Max’s lips twitch downward, the last ounce of his control slipping away as Felix bent over to taunt in his face; In retaliation, Max swoops to snatch Felix by the neckline of his shirt, only for Felix to dodge expertly backwards in anticipation.

“See, you're jealous!” Max grunts in frustration and sneers. “Next time, I’ll make sure to take a picture for you. Pictures are worth a thousand birds, right?”

“Birds?” Max blinked, his voice a mixture of fury and bewilderment. ”The phrase is ‘a picture is worth a thousand _words’_ , you ignoramus.”

“Uh, well…” Felix scratched his head while his eyes shifted from side to side, but quickly recovered. “I like my phrase better. A thousand birds is _way_ cooler than a thousand words, Max.” He stated with bloated tenacity as he strode out of Max’s room with his shoulders held high, leaving Max in solitude to lick his wounded pride.

Architect help him. And apparently, Architect help _you_. What were you thinking sullying yourself to a boy who was as sharp as a bag of wet sparts? 

Word spread around the crew within a short afternoon. Ellie and Nyoka made exaggeratedly fake kissing sounds anytime Max ventured past them; Felix would insert himself and derail any conversation with the kissing details whenever Max was in ear shot; Parvati avoided him entirely, in fear that even mentioning the Captain would invoke the Vicar’s ire onto her.

Of course you’d been out during all of this. You had brokered peace between Sanjar and Zora divisions, and had insisted on hashing out the details solo to give him and the crew a much needed break. Instead of relaxing, however, Max felt he was in solitary confinement; Hiding in his room in fear of ridicule and awkward exchanges like a coward. He desperately wished this would all blow over so he could obtain some reprieve, but he feared Felix was going to hold this over his head as long as they were together under your order.

Law forbid you’d start dating Felix. Max didn’t think he could stomach that.

When you finally returned, Max had been brooding over the events of the past several days in his room. He did what he’d usually do when seeking distraction; throwing himself into his divine literature. But the intricacies of science and the universe couldn’t eclipse the white-hot pit of jealousy he felt towards Felix—and by extension—you. He had grown to hold you in such high regard, that this unusual lapse in your judgement left him reevaluating your entire character. Was this his fault? Had he missed some glaring blemish in your personality? Or was he unintentionally placing you on too high a pedestal? You were human after all, you’re imperfect just like anyone else…

Maybe you had come to regret the kiss?

“Hey Max, miss me?”

Deep in his train of thought, Max neglected to notice that you were lounging against the open door of his cramped abode, casually watching him focus intensely at one of his worn and scribble-ridden books. His head snapped up at the sound of your cheery voice, mystified as if you had teleported in front of his eyes. 

“C-Captain! My apologies, I wasn’t—I didn’t hear you come in.” Disheveled, he slams his book closed with excessive force.

You raise an eyebrow. “You alright, Max? You’re, uh, seriously engrossed in that book. Didn’t even look like you were reading it.”

Curse the void and your astute perceptiveness. 

“Y-yes, Captain.” Still frazzled, Max took a moment to breathe deeply through his nose to steady his nerves. “So, I take the negotiations between MSI and the Iconoclasts have been ironed out?” Though genuinely interested in how the arbitration efforts went, he hoped to steer you off the scent of his suspicious behavior.

“Sure have.” You sigh in relief, kicking off the door frame and step into Max’s room. “Never thought we’d see the day those two working together, but here we are. Time will tell if it’ll hold up.” You voice waivers, giving away your uncertainty. 

“As long as you’re around, Captain. I have no doubts they’ll have a long and sustainable partnership.” Max assured you. Your actions with Felix may have hurt him, but that didn’t change that you’re an effective leader.

“That’s kind of you to say, Max...but that’s not what I came up to talk about.” With an audible ‘click’, his door locked behind you and his lights turned off. A red light above the door frame was the only thing left to illuminate the room, giving you an ominous silhouette as your relaxed smile shifted to aloof and mischievous. Max fidgeted uncomfortably in his chair. He’d been relieved to see you, hoping that things could move back in the direction of normalcy. Now all he could feel was the lump in his throat and his palms perspiring under your gaze.

“ADA tells me you’ve been held up in your room the past several days.” You state coolly, stepping over to stand to the side of his desk, a hand placed firmly on your hip. “Care to tell me why?”

Max avoided your direct line of sight, in fear you’d be able to look right through him. “Nothing to be concerned of, Captain. I’ve taken advantage of my break from work to study more about the Equation, and how the Plan—”

"This is about the kiss with Felix, isn’t it?”

Stunned and mouth ajar, Max stared at you blankly as you shared an uncomfortable moment of silence. His mind raced to fill the void with something to save face, but he turned up empty handed.

“How’d you—”

“Know? Yeah, Felix has been hanging around the ship door like a lost canid waiting for me to come back. He ran up to me shouting, “Kiss me, I’ll explain later!” while waving a camera in his hand.”

Max tensed. “Did you?”

You laughed and shook your head in disbelief. “What? No, of course not!” Max visibly relaxed into his chair, unclenching the fists he hadn’t even noticed he’d made. “You think I’d kiss him after the stunt he pulled?”

Max perked up. “Stunt?”

“He didn’t tell you?” Max cocked an eyebrow, you return with a chuckle. “Ah, yeah I suppose he wouldn’t, would he? He did the old ‘accidentally trip and fall on top of me’ shtick. Was pretty obvious it was intentional when he wrapped his arms around me so I couldn’t get up.” 

Suddenly, Max jumped from his seat to his feet; His hand slamming against the table and the other pointing a finger at you. “Ah-HA! I knew it! I knew the sleazy, good-for-nothing was lying!” Your body jolted at Max’s unexpected movement, your hand shot to your chest in an attempt to soothe your rapidly beating heart. Before you could ask Max to clarify, his face contorted into a scowl as his finger extended more towards you.

“And _you_ just let him kiss you like that? And you think it’s funny?” You hear his other hand's fingernails scrape harshly against the wooden table. How could you be so nonchalant? Felix had crossed the line, and it frightened Max that you seemed to enjoy being disrespected.

Yup, that was definitely why he was mad. 

“Woah, calm down white knight. I didn’t ‘let’ him do anything.” You narrow your eyes at him resentfully, emphasizing yourself with air quotes. “He fell on top of me, remember? Not much I could do to prevent it. He was reciprocated with a swift slap to the face and a stern talking to, to put it mildly.” Your voice turning bitter at the end. In reality you spent 10 whole minutes lecturing his head off in Fallbrook, the commotion of which created a small crowd of onlookers.

Max deflates, releasing a shaky breath as his temper subsides. “Serves him right.” Max concludes, still trying to hold the bile back in his throat. The mere thought of that buffoon touching you was insufferable enough, but you being remotely receptive had set him practically frothing at the mouth. Hearing confirmation you had thoroughly reprimand Felix however, he slowly descended back into his chair, reassured that this could finally be put behind them.

“Except, there leaves the matter of you, Vicar DeSoto.” _Oh no,_ you only called him that when you were up to something. His muscles stiffened as he watched you apprehensively, his irises dance around the features of your face as he tried to anticipate your next move.

“Felix may have won the bet, but from what I understand, it was you that made the bet in the first place. Is that accurate?” You challenged, taking advantage of his sitting position to loom over him. You were still smiling, but it was rigid and forced; Your eyes foreshadowing darker intent.

No use in trying to lie to you; You were a walking lie detector, and he knew better than to try and weasel his way out now. “It was never my intention to follow through, I swear. I was merely trying to make a point, and it’s not my fault that idiot took it seriously.”

“Your intent isn’t what’s on trial, Max.” Your voice lowers as you sink down closer, compelling Max to instinctively lean back further in his chair. “What I’m more curious about is your reaction to what transpired while I was gone.”

Max’s adam’s apple bobbed with a gulp, your smile reactively transforming into a smirk. “W-what do you mean, Captain?”

“Word is you’ve been held up in your chamber because…” You tilt down, your lips barely brushing his ear. You whisper in a silky, smooth voice that makes the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. “You wish you’d kissed me instead.”

Max can’t stop the blush crawling up his face, his tongue twist tied and dry as he sputters an excuse. “N-no, Captain! You misunderstand, I just—”

“Thought it more probable that you’d have a better chance kissing me over Felix?” You tease. “I have to ask, Max. For someone who claims they don’t want to kiss me, you sure are upset about Felix and I swapping saliva.”

Max cringes at your crude description, which amuses you. 

“Following that line of logic,” You start, propping yourself against the edge of his table. While rubbing your chin for dramatic flair, Max’s attention roams to your back end that’s now pooling over his already crowded desk. “If you did want to kiss me, why have you been sitting around on your ass? You’re always preaching about ‘true exhaustion awaits idle hands’. Did you expect your victory to be handed to you?”

You were playing him like a fiddle, but he was drowning trying to understand your motive. What were you trying to accomplish? Were you trying to humiliate him as punishment? Fluster him to rile him up further? 

He suddenly felt weight sinking against his lap. Frozen and mortified, you moved to straddle him on his chair, trapping him under your powerful thighs.

He may or may not have fantasized about this exact scenario.

“Did you hope I’d just waltz into your room…” Your voice lulls thickly with lust as your hands run slowly up his broad chest, Max shivering underneath you. “Consumed with unbridled desire, throw myself on top of you...” Your hands flow up his neck to cup his face, forcing him to look at you. Max, lips slightly parted while enthralled in your gaze, sighs at the softness of your hands as you caress his pink hued cheeks. “And ravish your mouth with mine?” 

_Sweet Grand Architect_ , he sure hoped so. Max’s hands hovered tentatively above your hips, battling whether or not he should grab you. He felt the radiating heat coming from between your legs on his groin, forcing him to mentally restrain himself from reflexively bucking against you to relieve the untimely tension in his trousers. You giggle playfully, watching him struggle desperately to muffle the moans that were clawing to escape past his lips.

But as quickly as it started, it was over. Without warning, you shuffle back on your feet, turning your back to him and swayed over to his door. Max watched with his mouth open like a trout, briefly holding his hands out to where you once were before he reached out towards you.

“Wait!” He calls out, the look of hurt and disappointment evident on his face.

With a push of a button, his door slides open and light floods back into the room. Max winced at the sudden brightness. “Did I stutter, Vicar DeSoto? This isn’t some cheesy aetherwave program. This is reality. If you want me, I’m not going to just fall into your lap, now am I?” You wink.

“Besides, you’re an ambitious man, aren’t you Maximillian?” You twist your neck, hair flipping over to look at him. “We both know you won’t be satisfied with just one kiss.” Your words seeping with an unspoken promise. 

You strut away, Max stunned while his brain racked to process what just happened. Somberly, he pushes himself to his feet to where you were just standing and relocks his door.

He’d have to unpack everything you said later; First, he had to deal with the pressing matter in his pants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like what I write, consider [following me on Tumblr!](https://captainnataliedesoto.tumblr.com/) I take requests.
> 
> All comments and kudos are welcome! Love hearing what your favorite part is! :) 
> 
> Thank you for reading! <3


End file.
